The Need for Ignorance

Now, I pride myself on my curiosity and the need to know the why's and how's of everything that crosses my path but sometimes, like now, I would really like to remain ignorant and unknowing about the world around me.
We just spent a great few days in Dubai which included long, deeps breaths of fresh air, pristine roads and buildings and the best, most deliciously and unbelievably indulgent and decadent shopping experiences I've ever encountered. There is absolutely no way I could ever live there as an expat...way, way too dangerous. I never use text slang, being an English major, but OMG!
Anyway on the day we were due to return, our driver called us to tell us he had arranged a replacement driver to pick us up at the airport. We really never have a problem with this since he sometimes needs to head to his village or do something with his family. However on this occasion my husband asked him why. My hearts sinks as I write this. He told us that his wife had taken poison and was in the hospital. As you can imagine we were shocked and concerned, but Javed is a man of few words and did not say much.
When we came home the next day, we called him to check in to see how his wife was doing. Javed told us she was in critical condition and the doctors had told him that there was very little chance of recovery. We told him we would help in anyway we could but he, as usual,  refused. We offered a few more times but he declined. Tears immediately sprung to my eyes as I thought about Javed losing his wife and the devastation to his children. Javed has been with us for over 2 years and I am certain that daily,  I spend more time with him in the car than I spend with my own husband. He is a big part of the fabric of our lives and we care deeply for his life.
Now as my tears begin to flow, and I feel sick; I am forced to remember a book I just finished reading called "Behind the Beautiful Forevers"  which is a true story based on the lives of a group of individuals who lived in a slum not far from us and the daily struggles they face. I have raved about this book to many of my friends here in Bombay because it is a real window into the lives of people we only ever see in passing. There are many shocking revelations in this book. Many unbelievable. Many heart wrenching. Many that just don't make sense. But there is one that will now throw my life upside down.
In this particular story a young girl, maybe 18 years old, takes rat poison intending to kill herself. According to this book, it is a common occurrence among women who often feel trapped and have no way out. This girl chooses to commit suicide because she can no longer handle the daily beatings she receives from her parents and brother. Because she is the girl in the family, she is worth nothing and is treated as such. This is the life of many women in India and it is better not to live than to live tortured. It is the culture among many here in this country based on tradition, religion and history.

I asked my maid why a woman might take poison and she gave me  exactly the same reason.

I don't want to believe Javed's wife purposefully took poison but I don't know that I can think any differently. Of course when the time is right I will ask my driver what happened but it will not be the truth. Truth is not a valuable commodity in this country.

I have lost my belief and faith in this man and I hate that. Nothing in all of my western education or experience has prepared me for this and as I write this I have no great insights or epiphanies.

I am just sad.

Somewhere over The Dump

So today I am going to a friend’s wedding here in Mumbai and building up the courage to tackle my sari. Not an easy task and I am thinking I may need to call in the professionals to get the job done. It looks easy on youtube but I’m not nearly coordinated enough to pleat my own skirt and throw it over my shoulder stylishly.  I know, I know you would think, I, committed lover of scarves and  pashminas could drape a sari but sadly it is not meant to be.

However I digress…I had the unique opportunity to see Mumbai through the eyes of babes last night and it made me step back a bit.  My fellow Canadian friend, Michelle, has decided to marry her fiancé in a traditional Indian wedding. She has only been here a few months so I give her all the credit in the world for taking on that challenge. So many of her friends and family have made the long journey over to help her celebrate and for most it is their first visit to India. Michelle and her fiancé threw a pre wedding cocktail party last night in their apartment. They hired a local event planner to organize their wedding including this cocktail party. It really was well done; decorations draped from the ceiling, flowers highlighting the entrance, bartenders and bar ready and waiters serving canapés off of silver platters. Very tasteful and elegant and perfect really.  Now let me get to the fun part… the planner arranged to have a professional Bollywood dancer teach all of the guests to dance Bollywood style right there in the apartment. Everyone, with the help of a few flaming Sambucas, of course, were more than willing to get up on the floor and shake it with the best of them except for me and 2 other women who have lived in Mumbai for awhile. Unfortunately, the novelty of Bollywood has worn off for us. Innocence lost once again. I envied that feeling of excitement and thrill knowing that this would be a memory they will take back home with them as a memento of the time they spent in India. I remember that feeling well from when I first arrived. The bright colours enveloping the streets, the crazy sights of birds, dogs and cows all eating from the same garbage dump, the thrill of the first elephant sighting in the neighbourhood. I know I was writing home with just sheer amazement that I, Heather,  little ol’ girl from Hamilton, Ontario was now amidst the vibrant culture of India. I loved that feeling. I felt the same when I moved to China. It’s a great feeling, a fabulous feeling and I am just so sad that it has disappeared.

So my new mission is to find the wide eyed, awestruck Canadian girl again somewhere in the streets of India so I can appreciate all that surrounds me. Well, look for it behind the cows, dogs, goats,  birds and garbage dumps, of course. 

Online Donation Page of The Foundation For Mother & Child Health, Mumbai| An initiative by United Way Mumbai

Online Donation Page of The Foundation For Mother & Child Health, Mumbai| An initiative by United Way Mumbai

Coming out of Hibernation

I have been living in Mumbai now for just under 3 years. My first year was full of adjustments, assimilations and logistics. I am sure you can all appreciate the fulltime job that requires. Not to mention I was determined to continue my career as an international teacher. Well the teaching thing didn’t go according to plan due to being a local hire and visas so I went down the entrepreneurial route of private tutoring and volunteering at the school. I kept myself busy but by the end of year 2 I felt incredibly unfilled. Hibernation became the key to survival as days passed into months until finally summer arrived. 

Now many people come to Mumbai and immediately get involved helping local NGOs,  becoming immersed in activities to support the unfortunate, especially children, but somehow I missed that window. In the beginning, I think I was too overwhelmed getting myself and my family taken care of and then I really think that I became completely desensitized to the poverty and inhumanity that assaulted me daily. I’m not proud to admit this, but there it is. 

This year, however, by complete chance, I had the opportunity to meet Rosie Penryhn Jones at a Gloria Jean’s coffee shop in Powai. Through some casual chit chat she began telling me about an NGO she co-founded with Barbara Jayson which provided health, nutrition, education and sustainable skills training programs for mothers, children and community health workers in disadvantaged communities in Indonesia. She also explained that a member from the Indonesian branch, Leena Godiwala-Deubet  had brought the foundation to India. It is currently working to provide health and nutrition to children and mothers in  Mumbai in Ganesh Nagar, a slum community housing 390 families totalling almost 2000 people. Residents there live in cramped and unsanitary conditions.

Her passion and commitment to this cause made me pause to examine my own life in that moment.  Could I say I was as committed and passionate to something, anything in my life, besides my family? Sadly the answer was no. 

Rosie gave me her card and I went home that day and began reading up on the  website Foundation for Mother and Child Health www.motherandchildhealth.org. The organization, founded in 2001, has helped many families and children from Jakarta and West Timor and responded to the crisis in Sri Lanka and Aceh after the devastating tsunami in 2004, and the Sumatra earthquake in 2009. They have also provided skills training for refugees living in Azerbaijan where women from Afghanistan, Iran, Iraq and Chechnya all had the opportunity to learn new skills such as quilting, pattern making and computing and joined micro finance schemes enabling them to become self sufficient, and stand more chance of a successful life in a welcoming country.  

My interest was growing and I felt this stirring deep down telling me that this held more meaning for me then just simple appreciation. I met with Rosie a few weeks later to discuss how I could help and become involved. As she spoke about the modest beginnings of the organization and their accomplishments over the years, I felt myself not only wanting, but needing to be involved. This was a cause I too, felt very strongly about and now finally,  I had found an outlet for my energy. She showed me photos of her visit down the FMCH and shared with me some shocking statistics about India.

42% of children under 5 are malnourished.  Times of India, Jan 2012 / Hungama report

• For every 10 children under 3 born to illiterate mothers, 5 are underweight - too thin for their age. This is a sign of malnutrition
• For every 10 children under 3 born to illiterate mothers, 5 are stunted - too short for their age.  This is the sign of chronic malnutrition
• For every 10 children under 3 born to illiterate mothers, 2 are wasted i.e. too thin for height. Fat and muscle have been used up for energy.  This is a sign of acute malnutrition   and the child is at risk of dying from malnutrition or from any common clinical disease like diarrhea or respiratory illnesses
• For every 10 children born to illiterate mothers, 8 are anemic.  Anemia can lead to poor cognitive performance in school. 
• For every 10 children born, 3 are born underweight                                               
•   For every 10 children born, 5 children are fed only breast milk for first 6 months as recommended

With all of the media attention and Global markets focusing on India as an emerging market and “the next big thing” next to China, it still has the highest rate of malnutrition in the world with very little government intervention to resolve the issues. FMCH is clearly focused and driven to reduce these numbers and give these children, India’s future, a fighting chance.

Currently FMCH India tackles malnutrition “in innovative ways, every day”. It aims to increase knowledge on health and nutrition  issues amongst the community  through classes, medical consultations, home visits, vaccinations, counseling, family planning advice and cooking classes.  A dedicated team of professionals, both employed and volunteer, Indian and expatriate, provides these services, currently working with 533 families - and counting. Women from the community are trained to help. Children who have benefitted from their interventions in the past are notably more healthy and do very well at school. 

Local women making Nutri-bars at the Ganesh Nagar Clinic

 One of the unique contributions of FMCH’s dedication to fighting malnutrition comes in the form of a Nutri-bar. It is a recipe devised by expert nutritionists, and is used as a food supplement for children suffering from moderate to severe nutrition.   In a trial it was shown to improve children’s weight and growth rates, making them better able to fight infectious diseases.  Currently they provide a daily bar to 30 children and 20 mothers who are either pregnant or lactating, in addition to facilitating interactive ‘hands-on’ cooking demonstrations for young mothers in the community

Looking at the statistics and living daily in the chaos and poverty of Mumbai, I am a little overwhelmed by the sheer enormity of the task set before FMCH in their fight against  malnutrition but, and I say this with all that makes me a mother, woman and educator, I am even more inspired  to be part of a team so committed to the future of children that my desire and passion to help is infinite. 

If you  would like to know more about  The Foundation for Mother and Child Health in India or make a donation , please visit www.motherandchildhealth.org/india.html